For the first time, I have a planned schedule. I’ve been keeping ahead of schedule, being one or two days ahead of schedule. Instead of stressing out about what I was going to post, I had time to think about the posts, and come up with something. I feel like they’ve gotten better toward the end of the month here, as I got the hang of scheduling the posting.

In any event, NaBlo was an enjoyable experience this year, rather than stress-inducing. So, as we wrap up the month, I just wanted to say thanks to Rachelskirts and gRegorLove for the comments and support, a lot of which happened behind-the-scenes. So, thanks you guys!

Here’s to an equally productive December. If nothing else, I’ve got the 30 Days of Truth to fall back on to keep me posting. But, great November, everyone! Hope you all keep it up in December!

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

This is a tough one. As a general rule, I don’t stay mad for very long. At least, not any more. In days past, I was quite the grudge holder, but it’s become apparent to me that holding such grudges doesn’t result in anything positive or productive, so I tend to get mad, get over it, and move on whenever someone has wronged me in some way.

The movies and TV have a common trope, “I’ll never forgive you for that!” But, really, I just don’t see that working out in general practice. I mean, I suppose this could be possible in theory, if you were to catch a cheating spouse, or something along those lines, but I’ve never run into that before.

If I had to choose, I have one instance in mind, but I haven’t really thought about it in a while. I once had a person in my life with whom I grew quite close, we’ll call her Susan (since being vague can be confusing). Susan was a great friend. She believed in me, encouraged me, saw talent potential in me that no one but my parents had ever really seen, or at least verbalized. She even helped me through some dark times.

Until one day, there was practically nothing. I don’t know what happened, and I don’t know why there was such a sudden disconnect, but disconnect we did. The break was dazzlingly abrupt, and will forever go without explanation. I was pretty disenfranchised with people when this whole thing went down. I just couldn’t imagine how drastically a relationship could shift in such a short time. I was bitter about it, and I was angry. But, I worked around it. Was able to continue on anyhow.

And I guess, I just got over it. It took time, but I’ve found motivation in myself and in the others around me to continue to push, to reach my goals, even if I don’t think anyone really quite gets my goals as well as she did. But, when it’s all said and done, I’m okay. I’m moving forward, if a bit slowly, and that’s what counts.

I forgive you for just suddenly disappearing. It was tough, but it’s all worked out okay.

In other news, well, there isn’t a lot of other news. Eat, work, sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat. It’s such a drag sometimes, waking up every morning to do the same thing over and over again. Bells, beeping, screaming children. But like I wrote last saturday, it’s just a means to an end. Just a stepping stone on to something greater.

But I got to thinking even more about that. I suppose it’s more than a means to an end. It’s also a wealth of experience, not just on a resume, but also in terms of life. I have seen the bowels of society, but I’ve also seen people at their best. Helping others, being kind, and (above all) being gracious to those who don’t know better. And in the end, that’s more valuable than any of the money, and it really justifies all those bad days, all those days spent flitting from one irritating situation to another.

Those are, each of them, a part of who I am now. They will always be with me, even when I can no longer remember specifics. They will continue to inform my choices, my mannerisms, my whole being. Forever. They can either make me cynical or they can make me learn, and hope that maybe there’s something different. Or, for the good ones, they can make me aspire to be so selfless. Or so caring. Or so gracious.

Good bad, ugly, and soul-sucking. Everything counts, and everything affects your life more than you might realize, whether for good or ill. Even if it’s something as mundane as your days at work.

~~
So. You’re turned 70 this year. That’s 7-0. I’m turning 22 this year, which means that you’ve known me for just a little less than a third of your life. For some of those first years, I probably owe you an apology, but if it’s been this long, you’re probably over it by now anyways. I’ve been spending the last few years in college, and let me tell you, I think they’re missing some things. I’ve learned some of the most important things in life from you, Grandaddy. Here’s a categorized list.

Driving: No matter how many wheels the vehicle had, which has been somewhere between 2 and 6, you always let me have a turn driving it, even if I did so poorly. But more than that, you taught me what those One Way signs really mean. The arrow, I learned one day in Colorado, is merely a suggestion! If you turn against the arrow, that’s okay, so long as you only go one way. “One way.” They didn’t teach me that.

Architecture: What seems to me a precise art, a careful measuring and delicate balance of wood, nails, and the occasional shim, is boiled down to a simple phrase. A phrase which everyone else seems to have wrong. See, in College, they’ve taught me “measure twice, cut once.” No, no, I tell them. The real secret to fine architecture is, “Aww. It’ll be alright. It’ll never be noticed on a gallopin’ horse.”

Medicine: If you cut yourself, or scrap a knee, or break your arm, or crack open your skull, there is one camp granddaddy remedy that cures everything. A genuine article, it probably even cures cancer, but nobody seems to know its magical properties but Grandaddy. Whatever ails you, put a little Camphophinique on it, and it’ll be all better.

What’s more, splinters and stickers need no fancy processes for extraction. A gentle tickle will take care of the problem, with no pain, no muss, no fuss.

Cultural Awareness: College is supposed to be a time when you learn of opinions and secrets from the world over. Well, believe me when I tell you, I received more multi-cultural education from my Grandaddy than I’ve got in college. The wisdom of the ages was passed down, it seems, solely through Granddaddy. His endless supply of old Indian tricks taught me how to mark a cut line with a nail, how to open a stuck jar, how to draw a straight line without a square, and if given enough time, I’m sure I would find no end to the ancient Indian wisdom he carries with him.

Philosophy: While my college classes have given me some pretty tough questions to answer, I have always triumphed. I have found answers, and given them due thought. Some of the hardest-hitting questions have, once again, come from my granddaddy. Questions I have known since I was a wee lad, but have yet to formulate answers for. Really, think about it. Just how much wood COULD a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? We may never know, but I bet the answer is there somewhere in all that Indian lore.
He is also never content in giving away answers. He is determined that we children figure things out for ourselves. When one of us would ask, “What’s that for?” “This?” He’d smile, “This is for making little boys ask questions.” A regular Aristotle he is.

Literature: I owe my love for English to Grandaddy, even. Through my classes, I have read many different poets and authors, but none have stood against these simple poems of my youth, rattled off effortlessly by Grandaddy.

Time Management and Goal Setting: After a long day of grueling elementary school, he had one question for us. A question to get us thinking about what we were doing, and how to best use our time. “What did you teach them in school today?” Unfortunately, we were too young to know better, and we answered, “Nothing.” He would look at us, and ask, “Well what’d they teach you?” Again, we’d answer “Nothing.” “Well, what did you go waste a whole day for?” At the time, we all laughed, not knowing any better, but you know, as I see it now, he’s got a point there. There’s something to do, and there’s a time line in which to do it.

High Fashion: Thus far, I have heard nothing in school about how I should dress, or what sorts of clothing is best. Grandaddy, however, is always on top of things. The essentials include a good pair of clod hoppers (ones which make you run faster, of course. If they don’t make you run faster, why’d you get them? Hah, there’s more of that Grandaddy practicality.), some ‘spenders to keep your britches (a sturdy pair of blue jeans) up, and a baseball cap. Fun AND functional.

Quality Assessment: No matter the type of product, there is one benchmark that is applied across the board to judge the worthiness of a given product. If that product doesn’t work better than windshield wipers on a cat’s rear, it certainly isn’t worth having.

I don’t even want to think where I’d be without my Grandaddy’s teaching me everything I’d need to get through life successfully. They certainly haven’t let us in on any of these secrets in school.

For as long as I can remember, I always looked forward to what I would learn next from Grandaddy. I always remember looking up to him in awe at how much he knew, how much he’d done, and how strong he was. Well, honestly, I still do. I might be taller, but to me, he’s always going to be Paul Bunyan. The Jolly Green Giant. Santa Claus. Atlas. He’s always seemed larger than life, always ready with a clever turn-of-phrase, a helping hand, a pat on the back to let you know that you are doing well, even when you don’t always do well.

Whenever I find myself feeling a bit overwhelmed and like I’m just not going to make it, I remember those big, strong hands of his grabbing me out of the snow after we turned the snowmobiles over after a blizzard came through. I remember my Grandaddy who can do anything. Who was always at basketball games, cheering, whistling. You could always hear his whistle, no matter how loud the crowd. I remember that I’ve got him behind me, patting me on the back, letting me know that I did well. I remember that I can grab onto his hands, and he’s strong enough to pull me back up, pour on some camphophinique and push me to keep going.

I haven’t ever been as appreciative of that nearly so much as I should have been, and as I write this, I realize how often I take him for granted. How I never call and see how things are going. How I don’t make time to stop by when I’m in town. But you know what? Despite all that, I know, I KNOW, that if I showed up at the door, and I needed him for something, he’d do it. He’s never let me down, and I don’t expect he’ll start now.

Happy birthday, Grandaddy. From all of us to you. And best wishes for many more to come.
~~

Who were you thankful for yesterday?

Q: How does the world see me?
A: First Love – Carlos Santana (Playin’ With Carlos)

Q: Will I have a happy life?
A: The Lying Lies and Dirty Secrets of Miss Erica Court – Coheed and Cambira (Good Apollo, I’m Burning Star IV, Volume One: From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness) **Note: I have no idea why their song and album titles are so ridiculously long)**

Q: What do my friends really think of me?
A: Bowels Of The Beast – The Ravonettes (Whip It On)

Q: Do people secretly lust after me?
A: Autumn Shade II – The Vines (Winning Days)

Q: How can I make myself happy?
A: Situation – Godsmack (Godsmack)

Q: What should I do with my life?
A: The Sound of Settling – Death Cab for Cutie (iTunes Originals)

Q: Will I ever have children?
A: The Hazards of Love 4 (The Drowned) – The Decemberists (Hazards of Love)

Q: What is some good advice for me?
A: Jumpin’ Jack – Big Bad Voodoo Daddy (Americana Deluxe)

Q: How will I be remembered?
A: Forgotten – Avril Lavigne (Under My Skin)

Q: What do I think my current theme song is?
A: Inside Job – Pearl Jam (Perl Jam)

Q: What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
A: Once Upon A Time – The Smashing Pumpkins (Adore)

Q: What song will play at my funeral?
A: Warning – Incubus (Morning View)

Q: What type of men/women do I like?
A: Inner Glow – Blue October (History of Sale)

Boy. That was depressing. I’ll just go have some turkey now.

In any event, I’ve been setting my alarm for 6:30 every morning for the past couple weeks. This has allowed me some extra peace throughout the day, as I get my blogging done, I read up on blogs, and I make a few comments here or there. Then, I move on to working on this or that, whatever needs to get done. It’s really been pretty nice, even if it’s difficult to get up at such an ungodly hour.

But yesterday, I discovered something amazing about getting up with so much time to spend before having to get ready for work: naps. That’s right. Yesterday, I took a nap before 10AM. I did my usual thing, I got my chores done, then I had extra time! So I took a nap. From 9:00-9:30, I experienced that oft-hoped for nap that I hated so much when I was 5.

When I woke up, I felt refreshed and energized, ready to begin my day. Only, I had already begun my day! I had already accomplished a few tasks and was ready to move into the tedium of the day job. So. The moral of the story?

If you want to start your day off right, forget a big, full breakfast. Forget coffee. Get some stuff done, ZEN HAVE A NAP.

Monster Crab Exits Shell – Watch more Funny Videos

I think society today has a fundamental misunderstanding of what credit is, and how one goes about using it. Credit seems to be looked at as an equivalent to overspending, to debt, to despair, or desperation. Credit need not be any of these things; rather, it can be a way to help manage your spending, manage your finances, and help you achieve a standard of life well above what you may have previously considered, while still remaining within your means. The misunderstanding is purely a lack of education.

I was raised with the philosophy that there’s no better way to learn than by doing. That said, this philosophy is exactly how nearly everyone in this country learns about credit. The only problem is, they don’t get to experiment or make mistakes until the stakes are too great to allow for mistakes. When your only option to learn-by-doing with credit is to take out an actual credit card, and make decisions that affect your actual credit score, the likelihood of making some catastrophic error in judgment is multiplied. Then, you’re stuck with a decision that will haunt you for a good many years to come.

In a commercial era in which companies have repeatedly shown that consumer protection is non-existent (vis-a-vis the home lending debacle, other credit crises, etc.), education is key in avoiding those costly mistakes. I think there’s an easy, inexpensive way to teach young people the perils and benefits of credit. In effect, this would be a credit sandbox, a fully-functional credit environment, in which the user is free to use the extended credit however he or she wishes, but within safe confines, and any mistakes would not have any long-term ill effects.

Here’s what to do: This sandbox can be created by anyone for anyone else. So, parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles–anyone–can help teach a younger loved one how to use credit. To set this up, simply purchase a reloadable pre-paid card from any of the major credit companies. Load this card with whatever amount you deem appropriate (for example purposes, I’m going with $100). The amount should be something reasonable (even if available credit on credit cards is often unreasonable).

Hand off the card to your loved one, advising them that with great power comes great responsibility. She may use the card without restriction, purchasing or paying for whatever she wishes. Set a monthly “cycle” date, on which payment will be due. This payment can be the full balance of the credit extended, or it can be a minimum payment based on the amount of credit currently extended. The payment is then added back onto the prepaid card, restoring the amount of credit available.

If a minimum payment is made, some “interest” penalty will be assessed. Since we’re not in the business of making money off of our loved ones, that interest can be deposited into an UTMA savings account or other similar fiduciary account, which the user will receive benefit of once he or she comes of age. Alternately, if the interest component is too complicated, it can be skipped altogether; however, the point is to paint as accurate a picture as possible of the way credit actually works.

This sandbox structure allows the student to make choices, whether good or bad. If the money is all spent on junk, it won’t be available for more important or more desirable purchases. Additionally, if the whole balance isn’t paid off, the student will have to learn to adjust spending to ultimately pay off the debt, or eventually the available credit will dwindle to nothing, and the minimum payments may become difficult to pay.

Of course, the hope is that the credit will be used responsibly, and payments made promptly, and our student merely gets to practice good habits in managing money and credit. If the credit is not used quite so responsibly, though, how better to demonstrate the hazards of poor credit management than simply practice in traversing them? The consequences of irresponsibility here are less severe, as the debt can be paid off in a number of ways, whether it be payment arrangements or simply having them work it off doing odd jobs here or there. The point is, there are consequences for irresponsibility with credit, and having to do some odd jobs is far more tame a sentence than life-long ruined credit because of an irresponsible mistake borne simply out of ignorance of the rules of the system.

Even in the face of irresponsible spending, hope remains that these mistakes will serve as first-hand teachers. In this case, an entire future isn’t ruined, just maybe a few weekends spent working in the yard. These mistakes, once made, should prove to be beneficial, in that they will not be repeated in the real credit world, where consequences are far more dire. As the old saying goes, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,” and practice equals prevention.

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

When I was in preschool, my cousin and I would very often sneak to the other half of the divided classroom so we could play together, as were were separated between the two teachers. This, of course, was frowned upon, but really, if you’re going to wrangle 4- and 5-year-olds, you should do a better job. I mean, all we had to do was skip through the connected bathroom. In any event, we would often get each other in trouble.

One day, when we were up to our usual shenanigans, we got caught, and we were sent to time-out. We both had to sit, facing a wall. Which, when you’re a hyperactive 5-year-old, that’s the worst thing in the world. Those five minutes may as well have been 5 hours as we sat. Doing nothing. Looking at whatever sort of bodily fluid had managed to get on the wall in front of us. Needless to say, I got bored.

In my boredom, I decided to start talking to my cousin, even though we were expressly forbidden from doing any such thing. It was, after all, time-out. And he, being more cautious than I, curtly shushed me. The only problem was, his shushing was noticed by the teacher and my talking was not. As a result, she came over and scolded him for talking during time-out and would hear nothing of the explanation!

I knew the truth, but my sentence was about to be commuted for good behavior, and I wasn’t about to pass that up. I let him sit there for an extra minute while I rejoined the rest of our friends. I was such an asshole.

Now, almost 20 years later, I have decided that it’s finally time to let go. I need to forgive myself this transgression, and I now formally apologize.

Dan, I’m sorry for letting you rot in the clink while I had juice and graham crackers. I hope, some day, you can forgive me, too.