Category: Movies


Avatar, or How I Learned To…

In the spirit of fair play, there will be spoilers in this post, I’m sure. I don’t know, as I haven’t written it yet, but I do know I’m not particularly sensitive to what is and isn’t a spoiler, so if you haven’t seen it and expect to be surprised by the story (you won’t be), then come back later. It’ll still be here.

First of all, James Cameron has done something amazing here. There’s no denying the intense complexity of the world he’s created, and not just visually. The whole topography is intriguing, in that it is all at once vaguely familiar and entirely Seussical. From the impossibly tall, and twisty, trees, to the floating mountain ranges, to the vast canyons, every piece of the landscape is taken right from the great sights of our own Terra, only magnified and made somehow more grand on this alien world. Hats off to you, Cameron, for your vision here, and hats off for pulling off such a visually stunning film.

But, the story. Come on, now! Lets roll Dances With Wolves, Fern Gully, Things Fall Apart, and Mechwarrior all into one and call it new? What is this mess? Okay, so, the dastardly humans have showed up to strip mine this planet for “unobtanium” despite any consequences to the indigenous people. There are some scientist types who disagree with this, but they suck at being powerful until the marine shows up. In his wheelchair. There’s a huge twist. The warrior man has a handicap. Instead of hubris, it’s nonfunctional legs. Potaytoh, potahto, I say, when it comes to being a warrior. The scientist people can control genetically grown bodies that look like the aliens, which is a huge help in trying to learn their ways. Or, at least, it could be.

These bodies, or avatars, are really the most key aspect of the message this movie really is driving home. The whole environmental bit is part red-herring, part unifying bad-guy, but more on that in a bit. The humans really think they can become a part of the alien people if they look and talk like the same way. How much more insulting can you really be? I mean, there’s the old adage about the ducks, but does that really apply to people? If I put on a yarmulke, grow a long wispy beard, some curls, and wear a big hat, that doesn’t make me one bit Jewish. But, according to the movie, this should be enough to be accepted into Hasiddic circles. “But, COME ON! I LOOK LIKE YOU, OKAY?” This argument is flawed on so many levels, and to a point, the movie actually admits this, since the Na’vi reject the “sky people,” even in their Avatar forms, but that surely doesn’t stop them from trying the same thing again and a again. Just look at the mecha everywhere. The humans have no faith in their own form, and strive to find something to make themselves better, be that natural resources or surrogate bodies and augmentations.

Ultimately, the target of the humans isn’t nature, or environment. It’s Na’vi culture. This point seemed so blatantly obvious to me, but I still hear this whole guilt-ridden coalescence into, “Okay, James Cameron. We get it. We destroy the environment. We’re sorry.” It’s just absurd. The Na’vi are concerned with the environment because it is PART of their family, their culture, not because it’s what keeps them alive.

So, the story may have been weak, and the vast majority of people who talk about it take it as a little more clever Wall-E type chastisement, but what James Cameron created in the world of Pandora transcends all the problems the movie does have. While Jake Sully and the other characters might be entirely translucent, but the world is extremely rich and full of magic that we haven’t seen before. Quite frankly, the plot and characters only existed because Hollywood wouldn’t make a 3D movie of a simple tour around the world of Pandora, which would have been just as exciting in my opinion.

So, before you jump up on your high-horse and decry the movie as shallow, take a step back and actually LOOK at what Cameron has to show you. You might be surprised at how effectively he communicates to you through your eyes. 4 out of 5 cnidarian soul tree seeds.

It’s those little things…

…those itty bitty things. It’s those little things that piss me off.

I don’t typically get very angry about things. Whenever I do, it rarely lasts very long. I can’t say that I’m really “over it” per se, but I have gotten past the initial knee-jerk reaction of the thing. Here, let me ruin a movie for you.

Seven Pounds is about a man who is out to help several people turn their disease-ridden lives around. His plan is to find people to whom he is a donor match, then he’s going to kill himself so those people can have his parts. What a hero! A man’s going to commit suicide, which is bad, terrible, no good. But wait! There’s more! He’s going to donate his parts to other people, so that’s okay. That’s right. Because none of us could find them before, Seven Pounds points out to us all the redemptive qualities of suicide.

Now, I realize that murder, violence, etc have been glorified in movies for years, but there just seems something different about treating suicide the same way. I mean, when do we get to see the redemptive qualities of child molestation or rape or elder abuse? I mean, those are all taboo, so they’re bound to be packed with oh so subtle redemptive qualities, right? Right?

Maybe suicide just hits me a little too close to home. I’ve been close. Too close. And whenever I see it being portrayed as something to strive for, something heroic, I guess I just get a little up in arms. I just fail to see how that message could be portrayed as heroic. Again: I understand my hypocrisy in my having no problems with the murder and violence being glorified, but there just seems to be something so different with suicide.

Thoughts?

Beowulf

I first read Beowulf in high school, and I read it again in this past semester for my British Literature class. It’s a great story, and if you’ve never read it, I highly recommend it. I’m partial to the Seamus Heaney translation, with the Middle English with it. It’s some good stuff, it is.

Needless to say, I was pretty excited when I heard that Beowulf was being made into a movie, so I jumped on the chance to go see it with Kristen on Thanksgiving night. We caught the 10:40PM show, and settled into the nearly empty theater for the ride.

The movie started, and after about 5 minutes, they had successfully skipped over about 200 lines of the poem, and to be altruistic about it, I’m guessing they were trying the tried-and-true en media res. Well, because of that, later on in the movie, they decided to stop portraying the poem and started portraying whatever story Robert Zemeckis wanted to.

I wanted to leave after about a half hour, but after paying $14.00 (FOURTEEN!!), I wasn’t about to walk out without seeing that thing through to the bitter end. Now, I’m really too easy on movies most of the time, but this train wreck isn’t safe from anything.

After 7 minutes of Austin Powers-esque convenient placement of people and objects to cover the gratuitous nakedness of an animated Ray Winstone as Beowulf, and a series of Jason and the Argonauts -esque monster moments, I just had to laugh.

If you care anything about what I think about it, don’t go see it. If you don’t, or if you’re just that into wasting your money, then go for it. I mean, masochists are people too, I guess.

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