10 years. A milestone for myriad occasions. High school graduations, marriages, employment. A nice round number: long enough to have seen many changes, not so long as to make you forget where it all began, so you can still recognize change. 10 years since two planes flew into NYC skyscrapers, one into the Pentagon, and one into Terra Firma, PA. Truly a turning point for our nation, but in retrospect, it seems like we may have made a wrong turn.

Historically, tragedy has been a force of growth and definition for our country. Pearl Harbor, for example, galvanized a nation to war, proving beyond doubt our military and economic prowess, which netted us global dominance in many arenas. Granted, we already held international respect for many of our accomplishments, specifically our burgeoning trade and industry. WWII, though, showed the world that we meant business, and while the attach in Hawaii was tragic, it slingshot us to greatness. At least for a time.

Countless regional disasters have also served to gird the loins of American prosperity. The Chicago fires, the major earthquakes in California, etc. Each of these led to a reanalysis of laws, policies, and they were expanded–sometimes created–to create a better place, safer and more conducive to our lifestyle. And after these, we succeeded. We became wealthy, successful, and respected. Not by everyone, of course, but what country is? Then came 2001. We were coming off of a largely economically successful presidency (and there are always arguments on either side of that issue), and hopes were high that it would continue. Then came September 11.

The events of that day plunged our country into a panicked frenzy. Mobs were attacking any brown person around. Merchants were gouging consumers, who were equally scared. Our people were hurting our own out of fear, and maybe even a little greed, but even with that, we eventually learned to quell the violence. But many never learned to quell the hatred. Our news media, the purported voices of reason, spread fear and hate for ratings, and what’s worse, there are people who take the pundits at face value. They spew hatred and intolerance, and people just eat it up. Internalize it. Realize it. As a result, our reputations has become that we are the pulse of intolerance and ignorance. And, simply, it’s repulsive.

It’s now 10 years later, and a lot has happened. We entered two unending theaters of war, we found and captured one dictatorial leader, who was hung amidst celebration by his mistreated people. Then, we actually found and killed the man believed to be behind the very attacks that happened 10 years ago. We killed him, too. Amidst these military victories, we have also given up a number of civil rights, and pieces of our sense of decency. We’ve allowed our disabled and elderly to be humiliated at the hands of under-trained and overzealous airport security guards. We are as confused and scared and flummoxed as ever, and this is after 10 (T-E-N) years.

The media will be talking all day about how we should be honoring the memories of the people who died. But we’ve done a pretty poor job of that in the last decade haven’t we, then? Our grand memorial at ground zero has barely been started, largely due to money grubbing and squabbling amongst contractors. We have let fear take over our media. There is still wide-spread and unilateral hatred of anyone with brown skin. What have we become, really?

We have not honored these peoples’ lives. And we won’t ever, not until we step back and reprioritize. We are losing money hand over fist to two wars, despite our crippling debt, which is made worse by inactive political leaders, too powerful corporate lobbies, and corporations grabbing for every last dollar without giving back to the communities which fostered their grown from their infancies. It’s made worse by desperation and frustration of the millions looking for jobs. It’s made worse by helplessness and hopelessness in change. We really need to just step back and look at what it means to be American. To be us, not to police the world, not to tell any other country what government is good and what is bad.

We need to just “do us,” for a while, at least until we’re back on our feet and not still reeling from poor decision making and a sucker punch that happened 10 years ago. We need to regroup, refocus, and look at what we lost. Then, we need to move forward. Build from that loss, and do what we’ve always done: come back better and stronger than ever before. But how?

I don’t know. How do you get out of the wars we’ve started? How do you step back and regroup? I have no idea, but something’s got to give, and it cannot be the already flagging American vigor and livelihood. The successful plan is the plan which brings us back to our roots. The plan that reignites the ingenuity and sheer force of will that brought us through so many tragedies in the past. That’s the plan I’ll be looking for.

**NOTE: I understand that not everyone who will read this is an American. I am, though, so please excuse me when I say “our country.” I do not mean to imply that you are included in the collective, just me and the rest of the Americans.

Sit back and let your mind get blown by the genius of this man.

December 27 – Ordinary Joy

Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?

I am the kind of person who is pretty quick to to take the everyday for granted. I get caught up in the monotony and the banal, and I tend to miss the real grace and joy that’s hidden beneath all that repetition.

But sometimes the best things in life are really the stuff we do every day. I get up early. I shower, eat some breakfast, and catch up on blogs and news while I watch something on Netflix. I’ll do this until it’s time to get ready and go to work.

It may not sound like a lot of fun, but I find that it really gets my day started off right. I feel awake an d refreshed, and not so groggy when I leave for work. It gives me food for thought, and it generally just makes me happy.

Maybe it’s lame and maybe it’s the same every morning, but it makes me happy, and it makes the long day at work a little more bearable.

December 18 – Try What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for?

In 2011, I want to try to do a lot of things, most of them pretty small, but important steps to being a better person.

I want to try to be a more consistent blogger. I’ve been doing a pretty good job so far, but I want to get better. Produce ever-better content, make this place something people want to read.

I want to try to be a better husband. To be a little more empathetic. A little more helpful. It’s hard. And I know I’ve got a lot of room for improvement here.

I want to try to cut back on spending. To save more money so we can achieve our goals sooner.

I want to try to get back in school. To start a graduate degree. To pursue the dream of a life in academia.

This past year was not a year or trial and error. It was a year of survival. Of regrouping. Of positioning ourselves for a better future. It’s time to start pursuing that future.

I think I’m going to have to try this one out.

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

This past year, I have made pretty great strides in letting go of my self-derision. Letting go of my self-criticism. That’s not to say that I don’t step back and evaluate, because without that, we’d all be terrible people. What I mean is, I have made steps to become less hard on myself. To appreciate my own talents a little more.

While it may seem insignificant to you, it’s a huge thing for me. Though I’ve still got a lot of work to do in building up my self-image, and my confidence. I have always been pretty rough on myself. I have a few skills that I KNOW I have, and I’m proud of those. But for everything else, I usually just feel mediocre at best. A fraud, a joke. And I don’t want to feel that way about myself.

By letting go of all those negative thoughts, I think I can move forward, hone the skills I already have, and sharpen the ones that I may not be so good at, but would like to be. There’s freedom that comes in feeling like it’s okay to fail, okay to not be perfect. Okay to be working, growing, learning. And with that freedom, comes the ability to see improvement, which is a far cry different than just seeing how each piece fails to measure up to some Platonic form. A far cry better.

To what have you let go?

When January rolled around, I was just about 4 months into my current job, a job in which the typical training period is about 3 months. I was still learning, still experiencing new situations, and in the midst of what seemed like constantly changing coworkers. It was topsy-turvy, and I wasn’t so sure about it.

Honestly, I’m still not. I’m in an industry I never expected to be, but when I took the job, I was desperate. I was just coming out of 10 months of near-unemployment, and the bills were piling up. I had some work, but it was pretty sparse, and money was pretty tight. But, along came this job , and suddenly we were able to shift out of mere survival and actually work for some of the things we wanted.

And while we bought the house in 2009, we were able to put some work into the house this year. We bought new furniture, filled in some bare spots on the walls with pictures and art, mounted the TV to the wall, put in some home theater equipment. It’s been great turning this house into a home. We were able to take a vacation, and put some money in savings.

It’s been a welcome change of pace, and we’ve been able to regroup, and make some plans to make life even better down the road.

I don’t mean to say that 2009 was at all a bad year, a lot of it just seemed like a rat-race, especially since I was at home so much, what with the being unemployed and everything. Here’s hoping to an even better 2011, with an emphasis on growth, rather than regrouping.

(This post is inspired by Reverb10)

For the first time, I have a planned schedule. I’ve been keeping ahead of schedule, being one or two days ahead of schedule. Instead of stressing out about what I was going to post, I had time to think about the posts, and come up with something. I feel like they’ve gotten better toward the end of the month here, as I got the hang of scheduling the posting.

In any event, NaBlo was an enjoyable experience this year, rather than stress-inducing. So, as we wrap up the month, I just wanted to say thanks to Rachelskirts and gRegorLove for the comments and support, a lot of which happened behind-the-scenes. So, thanks you guys!

Here’s to an equally productive December. If nothing else, I’ve got the 30 Days of Truth to fall back on to keep me posting. But, great November, everyone! Hope you all keep it up in December!

In the interest of full disclosure, I will admit that I grew up with money. For as long as I remember, there’s been no shortage of toys or food or entertainment, etc etc. However, I am aware that my family has not always been so fortunate, and my parents made many sacrifices and had many hardships early on in their marriage, as my father was trying to finish school and an MBA.

My father did not come into his money over night. It was earned through many years of hard work and even harder decisions. As a result, I was given every opportunity. I went to good schools, I went to educational summer programs, I was supported in my school work and given help whenever I needed it. This, then, resulted in a successful academic career. Sprinkled in there were a few jobs of my own, both with my father’s companies and with others as well.

I worked hard in these jobs, and I got my paycheck. This allowed me to get the things I wanted. Did I enjoy going to work? Not really. Who does? I mean, would you rather go to work or spend the day playing video games or whatever makes you happy? Of course not. That’s not to say, of course, that going to work was always a bad thing. Just, there are always more fun things to do.

In any event, I finished college in December of 2008. In case you weren’t aware, the economic world we had spent so long reveling in began to unravel, and property values, stock values, and jobs began evaporating. Faster, I bet, than most people could have expected (but I’m not economic expert). So, even though I dreamed of graduate school, I chose not to go. Instead, my fiancee and I got married. We settled into a little rent house, and I began a job search.

The goal wasn’t money. Not really. It was just a necessity of the world and culture we live in. The goal was to ride out the storm, and at the end, be in a position where the dream could be realized. We still aren’t there yet, but in my neck of the woods, the job market isn’t there yet either.

In the mean time, we have been able to purchase a home, take in a second dog, and live comfortably. I’m working in an industry I never expected to be in, and it’s certainly a far-cry away from English academics, where my heart and soul lie. But, it’s a means to an end. It allows me to stay out of debt, build up some meager savings, and prepare for a return to the dream that I’ve been chasing.

Money, then, isn’t some enemy. It’s a tool. And like any tool, it’s only effective if used correctly. Use the tool, don’t let the tool use you. Keep it all in perspective of your dreams and goals, and pursue money as a means to those ends. You may have to make a sacrifice or two along the way, but in the long run, as long as you refuse to be controlled by your money, your dreams are almost always attainable.