Furthuring the cause of Karen Sugarpants and Avitable and following (as always) in the footsteps of Rachelskirts, I’ve decided to anonymously say a few things to some people. These are in no particular order, just as they come to me.

1. What are you doing? Seriously. If you’d just start thinking again, you’d be a lot better off.
2. Grow up.
3. I hate talking to you because you don’t know me, but you think you do. Please stop with the advice on things you don’t understand.
4. Haven’t you done enough already? Just leave and don’t bother any of them ever again. That’s the best thing you could ever do for them.
5. In the extremely apt words of the White Stripes, “[I'm] completely baffled by a backward indication that an inspired word will come across your tongue.” So why don’t you, for once, just stop talking?
6. I tried to be your friend. I really tried, but all you did was use me. That doesn’t jive so well with me.
7. Despite the distance both geographically and relationally, I have admired you and loved you like a sister nearly since the day we met.
8. You’re far smarter, funnier, and capable than you give yourself credit. Why won’t you let anyone tell you so?
9. There are some things I’ll never understand about you and why you did what you did, but I’ll still always be there if you need something.
10. We haven’t talked in years, and I don’t know how you’re doing or even how to get a hold of you, but know that I think of you often and wonder how you are. Please be well.

So. There they are. If you think they’re about you, well, they probably aren’t, but you can feel free to ask me anyways. There’s always the comments, but there are a number of other ways to get a hold of me on the About Page.