I first read Beowulf in high school, and I read it again in this past semester for my British Literature class. It’s a great story, and if you’ve never read it, I highly recommend it. I’m partial to the Seamus Heaney translation, with the Middle English with it. It’s some good stuff, it is.
Needless to say, I was pretty excited when I heard that Beowulf was being made into a movie, so I jumped on the chance to go see it with Kristen on Thanksgiving night. We caught the 10:40PM show, and settled into the nearly empty theater for the ride.
The movie started, and after about 5 minutes, they had successfully skipped over about 200 lines of the poem, and to be altruistic about it, I’m guessing they were trying the tried-and-true en media res. Well, because of that, later on in the movie, they decided to stop portraying the poem and started portraying whatever story Robert Zemeckis wanted to.
I wanted to leave after about a half hour, but after paying $14.00 (FOURTEEN!!), I wasn’t about to walk out without seeing that thing through to the bitter end. Now, I’m really too easy on movies most of the time, but this train wreck isn’t safe from anything.
After 7 minutes of Austin Powers-esque convenient placement of people and objects to cover the gratuitous nakedness of an animated Ray Winstone as Beowulf, and a series of Jason and the Argonauts -esque monster moments, I just had to laugh.
If you care anything about what I think about it, don’t go see it. If you don’t, or if you’re just that into wasting your money, then go for it. I mean, masochists are people too, I guess.
I had heard it was pretty boring. Sucks that you wasted $14 (!! seriously!) on that thing. :(
My favorite part? The fact that I couldn’t understand a single word that came out of Grendel’s mouth. True story.
I’ll pay for the next movie. And maybe it won’t suck? I sure hope so.
Jamie: Yeah. 7 bucks a ticket is pretty ridiculous if you ask me. Especially with how stupid that movie was.
Kristen: Hahaha Well, Grendel was half speaking in modern English and half speaking in Middle English, so that’s part of it. The other part was that he was just had to understand. Anyways, maybe next time, we can go see a good movie.
I too was excited about the impending release of a Beowulf movie. But one look at the trailer when it finally hit, I could tell that it would horrible, just like you said. You’d've been better off sitting with me in the cold outside Best Buy that night.
jake: Yeah, but I was with Kristen that night. So despite how bad the movie was, that trumps any, err, fun that would have resulted from sitting in the cold in front of Best Buy. :P
Hahaa, it warms my soul a little to know that time is better spent with me in a horrible movie than in the cold in front of Best Buy. :D
I’m with Jake on this one. After a single glance at the previews, I knew there was no way I was ever going to enjoy watching that movie. Thankfully, that good judgment saved me $14 and a trip outside the house. I’ll stay inside and watch Elijah Wood instead, thank you very much.
Rachelskirts: It’s one of my favorite stories. I wanted so badly for it to be good that I couldn’t help but go see it.
Such things are always doomed to failure, I guess.
Unless they’re LOTR, of course.
the CGI made it almost laughable too. i have no idea why they decided to go that route… like my entire theater kept laughing at anything that sounded like a sex joke. angelina jolie played an alright part, though… haha jk