I have some pretty messed up nightmares sometimes, even though I’m a pretty logical, rational person, right? Well, I certainly like to think that I am anyways. It’s for this very reason that I’ve been sort of freaked out.
I don’t generally put any stock into dreams. In fact, to me, they’re really pretty meaningless. I know that some of you might, so sorry if that’s offensive to you, but to me, dreams are just dreams: no big deal.
But, I had this dream last night that awoke me in utter terror. Cold sweat, sweaty palms, heart racing, full-blown physiological anxiety response.
Here’s the dream: I’m sitting at my computer, and I go to this website. A blob in the middle starts to devour the words on the page, and then the browser, then the icons on my desktop, then my monitor itself, and it just keeps growing, devouring everything around it. It looks like it’s a series of jet black fingers, one after the other, just flowing into the void. The thing expands, and I’m just on the edge of it, trying to get away, but realizing the futility, I turn around to look at it. At this point, it’s just a mountain of fluid, black fingers. Something about what I’m seeing is familiar, but I can’t figure out what this thing is.
I awoke terrified, playing back the vision of the thing over and over again trying like mad to figure out what this thing was because I both know what it is and have no idea. Even while awake the thing is terrifying, playing vividly over and over again in my mind’s eye, to the point where I have to restrain myself from just screaming out in terror. I got up, got out of bed, and started working on some homework, but this thing just dominated my thoughts. I finished my homework, went back to bed, and eventually got back to sleep, literally jumping at every noise, wondering if it was that thing.
I got up in the morning (a whole two hours later), and I was still thinking about this thing. The physiological signs of anxiety were all still present. I finally got my mind off it, and went to school. On and off all day, I’ve started thinking about it, being able to see it clearly in my mind’s eye, and the anxiety starts up again.
What’s up with this?
The blob represents porn, which you should stop watching.
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Sethly: That’s not an original thought, and no, that’s not the case. :P
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HAHAHA! Sethly, that was beautiful. It means that I’m that much closer to taking over the internet, and you are scared to death of this. Relax, though, because there won’t be any more Comic Sans when I’m in charge.
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Rachelskirts: Oh, if it means you’ll be in charge, then I’m cool with it all.
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Very nice. I can relate to both the lingering thoughts and the real world anxiety caused by something that literally doesn’t even exist.
I’ve never had THAT exact dream, but I’ve had countless others that qualify as the same kind of thing.
My worst, longest running dream meme involves mirrors, and though the concept is hard to explain in a sane way without writing some kind of horror novel about it (and having to fudge some of the details because quite frankly I don’t understand it). In short I’ve had dreams where mirrors stop reflecting light and become like ordinary panes of glass. Totally transparent.
I know that sounds pretty harmless, but whenever it happens in my dreams it is so random and catches me so off guard I literally panic in response because it’s so realistically surreal (uh, yeah) and so unexplainable. It always happens in dreams that seem absolutely realistic in most other respects and the end result is a sensation that literally feels like a slap in the back of the brain; cognitive dissonance to the extreme.
Other various offshoot themes have come from these dreams as well. Such as one dream about the mirrors involved my brother Nicholas ending up with a doppleganger and I didn’t know which one was real, or if there was actually a difference. (What if they were both real?)
It sounds so silly but when it seems real the lingering effects can haunt one for days.
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Jace of Fuse!: Yeah, I can’t really explain just why I was so distraught from that dream when I woke up. I mean, I knew it wasn’t real, but I just couldn’t shake it. I literally felt like I was going crazy because I had suddenly lost the ability to reconcile the dream and reality, and boy, was that creepy.
It’s nice to know someone else is in the same boat.
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